I’m not the most spiritual person in the world, but I do like to believe there is some intelligent design to the universe. That life isn’t entirely random, and there is something looking at us, guiding us, if not always looking out for us. On the flip side, I do believe we are the masters of our own destinies; with some luck, privilege, common sense and preparation, and maybe a wild wish or two, we can achieve what we set out to accomplish.
I feel the call of the universe has been pulling me towards making a great choice. Life is full of choices, and I don’t always get it right at first. But I do think every choice I’ve made up until now has been the right one, for one reason or another. The smart choices were good in of themselves, and the mistakes were valuable lessons learned. The times I thought I ruined my life turned out to be the most beautiful, poignant opportunities to self-reflect and strive to do better. The times I felt confident in my decisions, were self-assuring in a way I needed in those instances. Like the tattoo meme says, ‘No Ragrets’
I don’t regret a single choice that has made me who I am today, good or bad. Yet I cannot shake this crippling fear of ‘what if?’
What if I fail? What happens then?
Make no mistake, I recognize these are valid fears. But I also feel those first thoughts stirring in the deep recesses of my mind that one could mistake for a burgeoning wisdom: trust the process, prepare accordingly, and take the chance.
It is one thing to go in blind while facing the unknown, but I need to trust that I’ve done my research. I have intelligence. I have resources. I have a plan. And if it all falls apart, I have a support system in place to catch me. I’m not doing this blind; I’m doing this calculated. I cannot let fear win, because fear is what keeps our dreams at bay. So I’m going to take this risk. I owe it to myself, because the one question that hurts more to ask than ‘why’ something succeeded or not, is ‘what if?’
I’m done with ‘what if?’
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