Curious to hear what some of you are planning as your new year’s resolutions! Personally I don’t love the idea of resolutions; the new calendar year seems as arbitrary a start date as any, and I do feel some societal pressure to make a resolution in an unnecessarily painful way. On the other hand, I do love the fundamental concept of self-improvement, and neurodivergent minds can probably relate to my eternal frustration yet attraction to the concept of actually meeting a long-term goal. So I’ve decided to take my resolutions somewhat seriously this year; in years past when I don’t take the resolutions seriously or pick too many, I fall apart and meet none of them; but in years when I pick one or two specific, measurable goals that are both ambitious but within reason (SMART goals, people!) I’m pretty successful at making progress, even if I don’t hit my final ultimate goal. I’ve decided to pick 3 SMART goals to dedicate my time/energy/resources towards, as well as ‘achievements’ that I am counting separately as things to do which require minimal planning but have a major effect. They are as follows:
GOALS/RESOLUTIONS and their ‘why’
1) Learn Portuguese to a basic level – my father moved to Brazil last year following marrying my stepmom, and I’d love to visit them without experiencing too much of a struggle on the language barrier. I have…complicated feelings regarding my father’s romantic history, but my stepmother seems like a genuinely sweet woman from the few conversations we’ve had and I’d love to get to know her and her children (adult, my age) better. It is funny how I’ll speak to her in my choppy Nuyorican Spanglish and she responds back in Portuñol; we manage to get the gist of each other, but I’d love to have a true, genuine, deep conversation with her if possible. Plus I’ve always fantasized about going crazy at Carnaval….
2) Lose weight – my weight has been a LIFELONG struggle. ADHD meant impulsive eating and dopamine deficiencies, autism meant sensory issues around food, and a generous of helping of childhood trauma revolves around my excess weight and lack of athleticism. Plus being queer adds an extra pressure of looking a certain way for those of my gender expression and sexual orientation. Being the fat gay boy is not a title one wants to earn and keep, if at all possible. But ten years ago was the ‘summer of sexy’ as I refer to it now, when I was at my lowest weight (~145 lbs/66 kg considering my height of 160 cm/5’3″ – still overweight but DRASTICALLY lower compared to prior levels). I managed to achieve that through a vigorous combination of starvation dieting, heavy exercise in the gym, and walking about 7 miles/11 kilometers a day, 6 days a week for my summer job as a university tour guide to prospective students and families. Needless to say, 20-year-old me almost burned out after 3 months and could not maintain the body that unleashed my inner slut (story for another time). Now that I’m turning 30 in a few months and have already lost 20 ish lbs on semaglutide, I’m hoping to reinvigorate a love for exercise and dieting in a way that is more sustainable but still effective, especially since I have my wedding in October this year.
3) Begin earning money under my own business – I dream of self-employment, but am still trying to determine what services/products I would best be able to offer and to what capacities and modalities to use so I can reach the widest audience. I also want to balance the need for earning enough money and valuing my worth while still being ethical in providing a price range that is affordable to the most people in need of what I can offer. I’m excited to learn the ins and outs of business with my new job position in D2D sales while still balancing responsibilities as a PRN/per-diem speech pathologist, and would love input on how to combine my passions of communication, neurodivergent support, and teaching into something sustainable and profitable while serving ethical goals for community.
ACHIEVEMENTS
1) Earn 100k – teaching and healthcare are stable careers in that you’ll always have a job, but not necessarily get paid your worth. Especially in what we call ‘allied health services’ in the United States (think speech, occupational therapy, physical therapy), so much of our job growth is limited and based entirely on unethical productivity standards, forcing clinicians to compromise on quality of care for patients and sacrifice personal health and well-being for the sake of corporate’s bottom dollar. If I’m going to work 60-80 hours a week with no benefits in a capitalist hellscape, I might as well make decent money and not feel guilty about selling my (or other peoples’) souls in the process. Switching to roofing sales will hopefully begin this step towards financial security and allow me to climb the corporate ladder to a training position where I can use my teaching and communication skills to their full potential; at the very least, I’ll be getting my steps in, not be tied to an office cubicle, and be able to practice my conversation skills with potential customers. Plus, everyone needs a safe roof on their home, so I feel less guilty about offering services than I do when I’m coerced by administration to push speech therapy on inappropriate patients.
2) Have my wedding – I’m so excited! If you asked 16-year-old me what he would be doing at age 29, he would have said rotting in the ground for several years after finally ending it all. But I have a loving partner and wonderful in-laws, and many beautiful friends and family to celebrate a glorious day on the horizon. We even managed to snag our ideal date; October 31st (Halloween!) so we are planning a full spooky, spoopy, festive wedding to be themed accordingly. The venue we picked is affordable and covering the food, drinks, furniture, and linens, so we only have to worry about music and photography, but it’s still a headache to plan and one I’m eager to conquer as the months go by.
I would love to know what resolutions, goals, achievements, or otherwise people have planned for the new year. Here is hoping 2026 treats all of us with kindness, success, compassion, fortitude, and opportunity!
Yours Earnestly,
R
For my personal reflections, click here
For my unhinged neurodiverse life hacks, click here
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