Healing is messy. Healing is ugly. Healing is realizing the reality you lived for 30 years is not only false, but entirely unnatural. Healing is realizing you have to be the villain in others’ lives so you can be the hero of your own. Healing is learning to forgive, not for their sake, but for your own. Forgive yourself. Forgive the mistakes you made along the way because you were doing the best you could with what you had. Sometimes you can forgive the others if you feel they’ve truly changed, or at least try to see where you come from. But sometimes healing is never forgiving because they have not earned it and you owe it yourself to stand your ground against their barrage of pain. Healing is realizing the people who were supposed to take care of you will never be the people you hoped they could be. That they never were those people to start, and that they might not ever be who you needed; who you deserved then and now. Healing is accepting life is messy, life is flawed, but no matter how much time you’ve lost, you can still make a beautiful life for yourself. Healing is that it takes time and work, but there are people out there for you. People who will love you unconditionally, people will stand by your side. People who will not berate you for demanding respect, people who will not insult you for demanding love, people who will wholeheartedly support you not just existing but thriving. Healing is realizing that sometimes, the people society tells us are supposed to love us are the true threats to our peace and happiness. But healing is also realizing we can find that love elsewhere. You may have sprouted in a toxic garden, but if you can learn to uproot yourself and plant yourself somewhere new (not just physically; emotionally, mentally, socially, and/or some combination of all of the above) then you can thrive in the bounty of nature that we all are entitled to as humanity.
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